For the record, I don't like how every political scandal, not just scandal, every political event, is referred to with the suffix "-gate", but it is what it is and if I refer to it as something else no one will know what I'm talking about.
Apparently there's this dude, Eric Swallow. He was a presidential neverbeen for three months before dropping out. The highlight of his campaign was when he said that he wanted to use nukes against gun owners to disarm them. Ever the bitch for punishment, Swallow decided to come back for more. He went on TV to talk about the attempted coup against Donald Trump and then a rumbling in his tumbling bubbled up and said "I'm about to end this man's whole career." Swallow's ass then exploded on live TV and he finally accomplished the 15 seconds of fame he had dreamed about his whole life. Eric Swallow's ass is also the only Democrat to say anything intelligent during this "impeachment" fiasco.
Swallow said that "The President used taxpayer dollars to ass the Ukrainians to help him cheat - " [pause], and then he let out the biggest fart since Barney Frank said we need to print infinity billion dollars instead of giving people jobs. Not only does he pause, he clearly shifts his weight to one side to open up his butt cheeks a little bit to let the fart out.
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